I am so sick of people.
I am walking across the restaurant at Panera Bread and the way people look at me! They stare. But they don’t just stare. They have these looks on their faces of horror. Like they’ve never seen a fat person before. You’d think I was wearing a swastika t-shirt or something, the way they look so horrified. Yes, I am fat, but there are lots of fat people in this town, and many who are fatter than me. So I really don’t understand why people look at me that way.
This one table had a woman and two high-school girls from the local catholic high school, the high school girl stared at me with the worst sneer. I looked back at her and just stared back. She would NOT stop staring at me with this sneer. So when I got to my table, I put my tray down and just kept looking at her. She was looking at me over her shoulder, so this took effort, and it also told me that someone had pointed me out to her, because otherwise how would she know I was there, behind her, across the room? It became a staring contest.
What is the deal? Yes I am fat, but I’m not crowd-stoppingly fat! I think I’m ugly but everyone tells me I’m not, but really, who would admit to your face that you are?
I wish I had taken that bitch’s picture. I have a rule: piss me off and I moblog you.
But it’s not just her, the little catholic soccer player. Many heads turn as I walk thru a room, and MANY of those heads continue to track me with some sort of sneer, horror, disdain or other some such offended look.
I’m not paranoid. I SEE it. I am not blind, I can SEE them. I fucking hate people.